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Making the New Year New

December 29, 2013

How different are your calendar years from each other?

Do you start out with resolve to change and then watch as some part of you mutinies?  Instead of being able to make the changes you want, your system starts a revolution.

What if you could take charge of the revolution and make the changes you resolve?

There’s a very simple process you can use to nip the wrong kind of revolution in the bud.

At the same time each day (remember that alarm function on your watch or phone?), make note of what you’re doing.  Does it support the changes you’re after?  If not, take one small action that does support your resolution.  Keep that up for as long as you need to establish the new regime.

Raise a glass to the new revolution!

Personalizing the holidays for every day

November 22, 2013

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I hope you’re beginning to feel the excitement and anticipation of the holiday season.

What’s that?   It’s a rush and a chore to fit in the extra demands of the season?  (Never mind to read another email!)

What is it that you value?  What are you expecting?

Is it a full larder for feasting?  Time for family and friends?  A day on the sofa with your favourite sports team?

Whatever it is that makes you whole is fair game for making your holidays special.

Do you get caught up in getting every last drop of special from the holidays?  As if all that specialness is banned from the rest of the year?

What if you made a little time in your regular life for what sets apart the holidays from the rest of the year?

If it’s special enough to make time for on the holidays, it’s important enough to include in your every day life.

Gratitude and Acceptance

October 31, 2013

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It’s the season of Gratitude again.  Giving thanks and feasting.  Not necessarily in that order.

But how much of your gratitude is because you’re “supposed to”?

What if life has delivered a big steaming pile of stinky stuff that doesn’t even fertilize the garden?

Are you faking gratitude until no assembly is required?  Are you goodsearching uses for your pile?

What if you let gratitude be for the moment and made friends with Acceptance?

Acceptance doesn’t ask the situation to change, to be useful, to be explicable.  And, oh joy, it doesn’t ask us to do any of those things, either.

It doesn’t ask us to disconnect from current circumstances or emotional responses.   It doesn’t ask us to deceive ourselves or others about what’s going on internally.

It does give us a chance to be genuine in our responses to situations and people, to experience our emotions and keep contact with our values and goals.

Then we can act on our own behalf, as needed.

And if our actions and future gifts give us a reason to be grateful for what looked like a stinky pile, so much the better.  We’ll be able to dive deep into genuine gratitude.

Enjoy your genuine gratitude and accept the rest!

 

 

Harvest to Share

October 2, 2013

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It’s harvest time!

All those fat orange pumpkins signal fun and plenty, with enough to give away.

That’s a big part of the fun of Hallowe’en in the USA, isn’t it:  playfulness and overflowing bowls of treats.

So, who gets to dip into your overflowing bowl, when it’s available?   Is it just the folks in your neighbourhood, the ones you recognize?   Do the visitors you don’t recognize get to play, too?  Or, tough question, what about that nasty brat who pushes all your buttons . . .  if you recognize who’s under the costume, does s/he get treats?

You’ve got a couple of areas to explore, then.    What is it that you’ve produced over the past growing season?  And who’s showing up to receive the benefits of the bounty?

You might want to consider who could use the assistance of a bountiful harvest this year.  Remember, thousands of people just like you have been affected by the flooding in Colorado, Arizona, New Mexico and Mexico.   Harvest time isn’t looking nearly so full of fun and plenty in their world.

For those of you “down south”, you can look ahead to your harvest while you’re planting.  Without counting chickens, can you plant a little extra now to give away later?

Harvest your share and then share the harvest!

All Things Being Equal . . .

August 30, 2013

How often do you say that when decision-making?

And how often are all things equal?

Well, now’s the magic moment, isn’t it?  Light and dark move into balance at the equinox.

So, a good question to ask yourself is, where do I feel out of balance?  All things being equal, what needs my attention?

Those of us up here in the north can use the fall to dig deeper on that subject, until we’ve got a PhD in that aspect of ourselves.  During the winter, we can develop a plan for change so that, come the spring and the increasing light, we can go public with our new, improved selves.

Down south, you can move the awareness and plans you developed since the March equinox into the public arena.  Not to worry if you missed the March opportunity:  you can gently step right into trying out public options with your own personal safety net in place. You’ll be able to tell right away if you’re off the (balance) beam.

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Whether north or south, private or public,
enjoy discovering your own personal balance point.

Are You Proud of Yourself?

July 31, 2013

What’s the tone of voice you hear that in?  Accusatory?  Congratulatory?

And when do you hear it?  Is it when you’ve successfully finished a project?  Avoided a negative emotional pattern?  Helped a friend achieve a cherished goal?

Is it ever just for being who you are?

Is it possible to be proud of yourself without having to visit the Big Head Hat Shop?  Can we be proud of ourselves without meeting the dirt face first?

Is it possible to keep learning even when we’re proud of ourselves?

I’m going to advocate on the side of healthy self-pride, which won’t trip you up or keep you from your next exciting learning adventure.  And you can decide when and if you’re going hat shopping.

Enjoy strutting your special stuff!

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Hot! Hot! Hot!

July 1, 2013
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Up here in the northern hemisphere, we’re at that time of year where everything heats up — sometimes more than we think we can handle.   We forget that we’ve made it through summer before and are still here to complain about the heat.  We’ll probably make it through again.

What happens when all that heat is emotional?  Like that last traffic jam that interfered big-time with your important business meeting?  Or the last time a family member went after your pet cause, actively tearing down a bunch of the good that had been done?

I’m sure you get the drift without me having to list any more reasons for your blood to boil.

What do you do with all that heat?  Do you go for the emotional AC, finding something that will cool you down again?  Do you put in the attic fan, venting all the heat into the outside world?  Do you take the spiritual getaway, removing yourself to a “higher (and much, much kooler) plane”?

What if you actually dove into your heat, with the intent to really feel it?  What if you got to know it as your best buddy, by experience?

We’re not so crazy about staying with our less comfortable emotions, are we?  We’ll follow our bliss just about anywhere but anger . . . fear . . .  Get me out of here!  Any escape we can find, the quicker the better!

How about staying present with your hot-head self this summer?  When the heat is on, just stay there for a few minutes, feeling what’s happening.  No action or analysis required, just presence.

And after you’ve stayed with yourself through a few minutes of hot spell, reward yourself with some refreshing pool time.  Chillax.

Here’s to a fullsome summer of loving the whole you!   There’s even a soundtrack for it . . . .

Compassionate Community

May 29, 2013

We tend to focus on personal growth for personal returns, don’t we?

How do we do when it comes to personal growth for returns in the community?

Sure, if we’re happier in our lives, we contribute more positively.  If we’re not scrambling for food and shelter, we can spread the wealth around.

But what about improving our connection to others, so that we’re as concerned with their welfare as with our own?

True story:   Friends of a very wealthy, very content and very kind lady told her that they would be leaving their long-term home and community because the taxes on their house had gone up beyond their means.  She expressed her sadness that they would no longer be a part of her local community.  And then she shared her excitement about a travel she’d be taking overseas at about the same time they’d be packing up their home to move.

What’s going on there?   Have you ever been in the position of our overseas traveler?  Do some of the things you’ve said in a similar context make you want to cringe as you think back?  

How are you doing on the “feeling good” meter right now?

If you’re ready to up your compassion, here’s a simple practice you can apply.

Pick someone in your life with whom you have difficulty relating.  Don’t go all the way to that guy or gal who says black every time you say white or wrong every time you say right (you could just dance to that one, couldn’t you?).  Go to that person you like who just “doesn’t get it”. 

 

Then tell yourself a story about what might have happened in that person’s life to lead to “not getting it”.  What kind of experiences would s/he have had that would lead to the conclusions you disagree with?  Or what kind of experiences would s/he have not had?  It doesn’t matter if your story is true.  You’re just looking for a plausible explanation for why someone could think or feel differently from you (imagine that!).

Now ask yourself what wonderful things that person is missing in his/her life as a result of his/her different experiences and conclusions. 

And here’s the really fun part . . . . How can you create an opportunity for one or two of those wonderful feelings or triumphs or relationships for your “difficult” friend?   Be one of those bold “where no man has gone before” adventurers and make it so!

The big benefit in your life?  Aside from that expansive inner smile when you see a new frontier open for someone else, you’ll find that your growing stock of compassion has a companion plant of inner peace.  Those places in the community where you were flappable before will see you waving placidly on a gentle breeze.

Here’s to a summer of expanded possibilities in your community!

The Showers are All in the Timing

April 3, 2013

If you love flowers — and are there really folks who don’t? — you know all about the April showers bringing May flowers.

It’s all in the timing.  If those bulbs and seeds don’t get the refreshing rain, we don’t see the blooms.  If the showers are too early — say, in windy March — the earth will have dried out by the time the flowers-to-be go looking to drink up the water.  Too late and . . . well . . . it’s truly a bleak sight.

You know there’s a metaphor for your life here, don’t you?  Into every life a little rain, etc . . . .  Feed a cold, starve a . . . no, wait, that’s something else.

Or maybe not.

Our dreams need feeding all right, and they need it at the right time.   If they don’t get what they need, what becomes of them?  Do they just die away underground?   Do they go dormant until conditions are right again?  Or do they become the feed for something non-native that takes the opportunity to fill the space we cleared for our dreams?

Well, that’s largely up to us, isn’t it?  Even if we miss an opportunity, do we keep our spirits open in anticipation of jumping on the next one?  Do we continue to tend the space, even if conditions haven’t been right for blooming dreams?  And do we do our homework to recognize where we can make changes in our attitudes or our actions to increase the chances for full flowering?

To support you in your blooming (other than my regular client hours, of course), I’ll be part of the riches at On the Wings of Dreams twice this month; once on Sunday the 7th and again on Saturday the 20th.  Facebook info is here  (complete with a weather forecast — FB just gets more creative every day!) and here.

Our last tarot teaching event, Tarot . . . It’s Easier Than You Think!, was Very Good Fun and we’ll do it again.    For those who didn’t make it in to the March event, contact me to talk about creating an opportunity that will jive with your schedule.  Remember, if your free time doesn’t match scheduled events, you can always fit yourself into my regular client hours or, in the case of a multiple-participant event, you can get in touch to instigate other options.

Yoga is ongoing at Harmony Healing Arts on Thursday and Friday mornings and at Extreme Family Fitness on Tuesday and Thursday mornings and Wednesday evenings.

We’re starting a new 4 week yoga session the 30th April for Tuesday evenings at 6pm and Wednesday mornings at 10am, through the Berkeley County Adult and Community Education Program, so now is a good time to sign up (304-267-3585 or their website to download the spring catalogue).

There’s a special Harmony yoga event geared toward bicyclists on Friday,12th April from 7:15 to 8:15pm.  We’ll run through short pre- and post-ride sequences, as well as short and less short sequences to support your special stretching and strength-balancing needs.  Of course you can find the details on Facebook.  Remember, those event pages are an easy way to spread the word to interested friends:  click “join” or “maybe” and then “invite friends”, or just share the link on your timeline.  (Am I the only one who regularly remembers Dick Tracy’s wrist TV and Maxwell Smart’s shoe phone?)

Keep an eye out for the return of the Kitchen Witches in early May.  Brooke and I are cooking up — literally! — divine new delights to Up Your Game.   If you let your eyes wander over to the right, you’ll see that there’s a box dedicated to On-Going Classes and Upcoming Events.  You’ll be able to find the details for Kitchen Witch events — and all others — in that little widget.

You’ve probably noticed that the T3 website is a whole new world recently.  Jen Rolston and her staff at Eden Design brought their creativity to Raelene Mercer of Sublime Miami‘s inspired designs to bring the T3 website to life.   I’m grateful to all the goddesses at both firms for sharing paradise with T3!

Here’s to a life in full bloom!

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