new year

Supporting Your Resolutions

Making a resolution really winds up being making a series of mini-resolutions.  The problem is, we usually miss the little ones with our focus on the big end-game.  And that’s why so many of us “fail” at our new year resolutions.

By now, you’ve probably had plenty of time to find “failure”.  Crazy that it only takes a couple of weeks, isn’t it?  You tried to stick to your new movement program and the first cold, dark morning, you rolled over and gave it up.  You held out on the new way of eating and then had a binge fest in front of a screen binge.  You sought to understand alternative points of view for days and then had a verbal slash fest when that last pin dropped on your last nerve.

See, the thing is . . . these aren’t failures.  Not even temporary ones.  They’re the moments that let you know where you need more than a running start to get to the big goal.

It’s just a matter of acknowledging all the little steps along the way to any goal.  You didn’t get to your professional status just through force of will: you got an education, you made contacts, you took the jobs – even the ones you didn’t really want — that contribute to a body of experience that would support the position you now hold.  You didn’t become a “grown up” just by wishing it: you lived a bunch of years that filled in the gaps.  You didn’t just sight read that Faure Elegie at Carnegie Hall: there was a lot of learning and prep time before the concert Catch my drift?

Yes, there are those wonderful windfalls when you wind up at the end of the path straight from the beginning.  Wormholes.  Chutes and Ladders.  But if you’re struggling with your resolution, by definition, that ain’t you right now.

1701 newsletter steps

So, now is when you back up and see what mini-resolutions you need to set to reach your big one.  “I resolve to arrange my day for lunchtime/evening/select-another-option movement when the morning is cold and dark and I don’t want to get out of bed.”  (Just one possibility out of manymanymany.)  “I resolve to have available the biggest tray of popcorn, celery and carrot sticks I’ve ever seen before I sit down to watch 6,000 episodes of Supernatural.”  “I resolve, twice a week, to find a train crossing where I can scream all the things I wanted to say but didn’t.”

And you set a new line-up of mini-resolutions as often as you need to, to support you in working toward the one big one.  Instead of a line of excuses and obstacles, you’ve got a set of stepping stones to reach the new you you’re aiming for.

Making the New Year New

How different are your calendar years from each other?

Do you start out with resolve to change and then watch as some part of you mutinies?  Instead of being able to make the changes you want, your system starts a revolution.

What if you could take charge of the revolution and make the changes you resolve?

There’s a very simple process you can use to nip the wrong kind of revolution in the bud.

At the same time each day (remember that alarm function on your watch or phone?), make note of what you’re doing.  Does it support the changes you’re after?  If not, take one small action that does support your resolution.  Keep that up for as long as you need to establish the new regime.

Raise a glass to the new revolution!
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